The answer to that question is a resounding yes! Just take a moment and think how we treat small children. When little Johnny makes a mistake, do we berate him? Do we remind him over and over throughout the day and week how horrible of a mistake he has made? Do we call him stupid, lazy, ignorant, a loser, or worse? Of course not!
Any parent knows that a child's self-esteem is fragile and needs to be handled with care. We don't need to coddle him to death, but facing the facts, learning from mistakes, and moving on are key components to a healthy life.
Now jump 20 years forward. Little Johnny is now a grown man. He works at a law firm downtown. He makes a mistake on a report. If Johnny beats himself up about the mistake, it does nothing but bring him down, decrease his work efficiency, and make him less desirable to be around, to mention just a few of the side effects.
Self talk is a real psychological event that takes place inside of one's own mind; and the results are evidence of the way we talk to ourselves. Who gave us the right to be negative, condescending, and mean to ourselves? Why do we do it?
Sometimes we do it because we were spoken to in this manner as children. Sometimes we just get caught up in the act of self martyrdom. For whatever reason it occurs, it needs to stop, and immediately! What's the big deal? So I beat myself up a little bit too much at times, what's the harm?
Actually, a lot! Negative self talk is the absolute worst type. This kind of emotional self mutilation is extremely destructive because it can lead to depression, poor working habits, end relationships, and even suicide. It is a serious problem for some people, but there is hope. Some training techniques have proven effective.
So, how can we train ourselves to think the glass is half full, and stop the negative banter with ourselves? Little reminders placed around your usual spots is a good place to start. A sticky note goes a long way when your standing in your kitchen, destructively replaying the day in your head. While your explaining to your self how stupid and unworthy your are, you look up and see that sticky note on the fridge reminding you to stop! Stop beating yourself up.
Simple daily reminders to adjust your thoughts can help in training yourself to talk better to yourself. Beating yourself up about not remembering to not talk negative to yourself is not allowed, by the way. Imagine if little Johnny could do little things to help him remember to talk nicer to himself. Wouldn't that be a good start towards something positive in his life?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to over inflate yourself by any means. We can however, be respectful to ourselves, not be overly dramatic, and realize that we are all mere humans that will always make mistakes. The good news is that we get to start over again, on a daily basis! Adding these simple reminders to your 2017 planner
will go a long way. You and everyone in your life will notice a difference in you.